


why don't we break the rules already?

by dramaturgicallycorrect



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Fluff, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, a series of escalating pranks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-25 02:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3792778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramaturgicallycorrect/pseuds/dramaturgicallycorrect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Besides. Wear a Tie Wednesday wasn’t even the worst one.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>There was the whipped cream one and the French one and the candygram one and the Twitter one and the mime one and the Jeff Goldblum one and countless others.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>They’re not bad, necessarily. Sometimes they frustrate Liam and trip him up, but they’re almost always funny. And he likes it when Louis roars with laughter and insists Liam help him recreate the scene for the poor sods who miss out, shouting, “Replay!” until Liam does. Liam gamely plays himself, hilariously blowing his own reactions out of proportion as Louis howls with laughter at him. With him. He doesn’t seem to prank anyone else, but that’s probably because Liam’s such an easy mark.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>[Or Louis is the king of pranks and Liam really... isn't.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	why don't we break the rules already?

**Author's Note:**

> This exists because I'm _apparently_ terrible at pranks and Jessi wouldn't stop laughing at me about it. So in retaliation, I stole all her good ideas and used them here.  
>   
>  You see? Terrible at pranks.
> 
> Thanks to my lovely ladies for the read.  
> Title ripped from the cold dead hands of Fun, may Some Nights rest in peace.

Liam’s relatively new to the office, but he thinks he’s got a read on everyone. He thinks he’s established his place in the social eco-system. Everyone’s fairly nice to him, grateful he’s come on to help lighten their unbearable workload, streamline their processes, and do what needs to be done to make the company a well-oiled machine. He’s been taken out to four thank you lunches in two months, and honestly, he would be afraid he’s in danger of getting a big head about it all.

But then there’s Louis from Marketing. He’s an entirely different kind of co-worker.

They had officially met -- beyond Louis introducing his name and position at the full staff meeting the previous day -- on Liam’s second day when Liam was in the kitchen about to heat up his lunch in the microwave underneath the sink and Louis had shuffled in. He watched Louis pull his lunch from the refrigerator and rise on his tiptoes to reach the second microwave above the refrigerator.

“Oh,” Liam had said, pulling his bowl of pasta from the lower microwave. “We should switch.”

Louis looked him critically up and down before choosing to respond, “Why’s that?”

“Harry said I should defer this microwave to --” Liam had cut himself off when he couldn’t figure out how to say it without actually _saying it_. Louis raised his eyebrows in response. “It’s just Harry said I should use the Tall Person’s Microwave.”

He threw a gesture to the higher microwave. Harry's the administrative assistant to Simon tasked to show Liam the lay of the land and Harry was _very_ insistent Liam respect the rules of the Tall Person's Microwave. And while Liam isn’t exactly a behemoth, he’s still a bit taller than Louis.

“The Tall Person’s Microwave,” Louis intoned, his strangely passive voice betrayed how dangerous and sharp the look in his eyes was.

"Um," Liam said and looked around as though someone was going to magically show up to save him from shoving his foot further into his mouth. Liam wanted very much for Louis to like him, to be impressed by him the way people in the office already had been. But it appears he locks up into a stumbling, embarrassing idiot whenever Louis looks at him.

"What exactly are you implying there?"

"Liam," he supplied, although it didn’t sound like Louis was asking.

Louis grunted in response.

Liam nodded and ran his hand over his mouth in consideration, his cheeks going pink. "Actually I think I'm okay. You just. Whichever microwave you want." He clutched his bowl and went back to his desk, resigned to eat cold noodles.

Liam had figured he would find some way to apologize, but he never got the opportunity. Because, he learned very quickly, Louis doesn't want apologies. He only wants retribution.

The first prank had come the next day. Wear a Tie Wednesday, where Louis got everyone -- birds and blokes alike -- to wear a tie to work and nobody had told Liam. Literally every person in the office. Liam felt like a total twat for being the only one without one, especially when Louis ducked by his desk and whispered, concerned, “Liam, where’s your tie? It’s Wear a Tie Wednesday.”

“I didn’t,” Liam started, panicking a little at Louis’ hushed tones. “I didn’t know about that. Nobody said anything.”

“Simon’s going to flip if he sees you. He takes this sort of thing very seriously.” Louis looked around, as if Simon was going to show up at any moment. “You should probably go out and get one, but I think he might be in before your lunch break.”

“Okay,” Liam had said quickly, rising to his feet. “I could… I could probably get to a shop really quick, yeah? Tell them I had an emergency?”

“Of course,” Louis said earnestly. “I’ve got your back, Liam, don’t worry.”

Liam had been quite grateful Louis had said something. He was confident Louis had forgiven him for mis-stepping the previous day, had understood that Liam was flustered and still trying to get the hang of himself and his new environment.

He wanted Louis to like him, most of all, though he'd never admit to it. Mostly because he wasn't sure why. He'd seen Louis around the office, cracking jokes and lighting up everyone he talked to. He just wanted Louis to pay that kind of attention to him.

Eyes turned to follow him on his journey out of the office and he tried not to flush with embarrassment at being caught tie-less. Liam had made it as far as Harry's desk at the front of the office before he was stopped.

"Where you headed?" Harry asked, cocking his head with a confused look.

"I've forgotten a tie," Liam said with hushed tones. "I have to go get one before Simon gets in."

"Why?"

"It's Wear a Tie Wednesday?"

"Ah," Harry said and then hesitated, looking down to fiddle with his own banana-themed tie. "I had forgotten, yes," he added, his voice stilted.

"I wish I had known that was a thing," Liam said. He had been told the dress code was business casual, so he'd gone without a tie. He didn't want to risk his place in the office eco-system by not following the rules.

"Yes," Harry said mechanically. "Yes, it is a very serious thing." He nodded very, very strenuously.

Liam took a second to consider Harry's squirrelly behavior and Louis' too kind behavior and it just clicked. "Louis is having me on, isn't he?"

"Noooo," Harry had said, shaking his head with a grim expression, which meant yes.

"Damn it, Harold, you've let us all down," Louis said, spooking Liam so much he jumped.

"How far were you going to let him go?" Harry had snapped back.

"At least the car park," Louis said. He snapped his fingers with disappointment.

"That's," Liam began with a nod. "It's very funny. Good one."

"Yes, it was," Louis said, beaming with self-congratulation.

"You got everyone in the office to wear a tie?"

"You say that like it was actual work," Louis scoffed, waving his hand. But it _was_ actual work and it said something about Louis that every single person participated.

"You took it like a champ," Harry said.

“Yeah. Nicely done,” Louis had said, before clapping Liam on the shoulders and pushing Liam forward to parade him around the office. Liam allowed himself to be the center of everyone's attention. They laughed and smiled and said, "Now you're one of us," and Liam wasn't so bothered by it.

Besides. Wear a Tie Wednesday wasn’t even the worst one.

There was the whipped cream one and the French one and the candygram one and the Twitter one and the mime one and the Jeff Goldblum one and countless others.

They’re not _bad_ , necessarily. Sometimes they frustrate Liam and trip him up, but they’re almost always funny. And he likes it when Louis roars with laughter and insists Liam help him recreate the scene for the poor sods who miss out, shouting, “Replay!” until Liam does. Liam gamely plays himself, hilariously blowing his own reactions out of proportion as Louis howls with laughter at him. With him.

He doesn’t seem to prank anyone else, but that’s probably because Liam’s such an easy mark.

It sort of becomes Their Thing, Louis pranking Liam, the one thing they’re known for around the office. Liam likes to be someone who’s known for something besides being fairly good at his job. It makes the eco-system easier to navigate. Louis’ done at least that much for him.

And he likes Louis, like, quite a lot. He likes it when Louis looks at him and smiles at him and makes him the center of attention. He likes it when Louis claps his hands on Liam’s shoulder after a prank well done. He wishes he could return the favor, but he’s not sure how to keep on the right side of unprofessional. Louis just makes it so easy. He doesn’t know what he wants from Louis, really, but he’ll settle for being the victim of his pranks.

\--

But two months and countless pranks after Wear a Tie Wednesday, Liam still navigates the office warily whenever he hears the sharp bark of Louis' laughter ring down the hall.

And Liam does still wear a tie every Wednesday. If only to prove a point. (So does Louis but Liam has never asked him about it.) Today’s a Friday, though, so no ties.

When Liam clicks on the start button of his desktop, nothing happens. He clicks it about seventeen more times, but nothing’s going on. There’s no indication the screen is frozen.

He has about seventeen emails to send, a spreadsheet to design, and a conference call to prepare for, all in the next hour. The last bloody thing he needs is a broken computer. Liam fumes at it with a guttural, unintelligible shout that is as close to a vocal representation of his frustration as possible. He even knocks the monitor, as though he could beat it into working again.

“Oi oi. Good morning, Liam,” Louis chirps from where he’s leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and his face worked into a smirk. “Computer problems?”

“Nope,” Liam says because he _immediately_ knows it’s all Louis’ fault. The only time Louis actually shows up to work on time is when he plans to do something to Liam. If Liam didn’t sometimes waste a good half an hour’s worth of productivity trying to reverse whatever Louis’ done, he would suggest pranks to Simon as an incentive to improve Louis’ attendance.

"For a productivity expert, you don't seem particularly productive, Liam. Sitting there staring dumbly at your computer."

Liam passes him a smile and gives a small chuckle. He's cool, he's fine, he's not at all frustrated. "Speaking of," he says and continues to ply Louis with the same smile until Louis blinks first.

"All right," Louis says when he's given up, clapping his hands before pointing finger guns at him. "Have a great day."

Liam returns the finger guns, stuck still at his cheerful post until Louis has rounded the corner and gone out of his sight. He turns quickly to his computer. "Shit," he tells it lightly and snaps up out of his chair.

He goes to Niall in programming -- which he learned very quickly was _not_ the same as IT, and therefore he needed to stop coming to see them every time he couldn’t get an email to send. But Niall is the only one who’ll volunteer clean up after Louis’ messes.

Niall clicks on Liam’s desktop a couple of times before straightening up and explaining to Liam what’s happened to his computer. It all sounds like a bit of nonsense to Liam, stuff like _locked desktop_ , as he tries to copy down some of the words Niall had used to Google them later, otherwise he’ll never learn anything.

“I’m sorry,” Liam says, shaking his head to focus better. “One more time.”

Niall sighs and honestly, it feels a little patronizing. “That right there?” he says, pointing at the desktop.

“Yeah?”

“It’s a _screenshot_ of your desktop. Can’t click on a picture and expect things to go, right?”

“Right,” Liam says. "A picture."

"Scooch," Niall says, plopping into Liam's chair to do some sort of wizardry to get it back to normal. Liam leans over his shoulder to try to learn what Niall's doing, but Niall always goes too fast for anyone else to get it.

"Thanks, Nialler," Liam says when he's done.

Niall spins around in Liam's chair to face him with a serious look. He says, “If you don’t do something about it, mate, he’s just gonna keep doing it."

“Or, if I do something about it, he’s going to get worse.”

“Nah, s’about respect with Louis,” Niall says. “Gotta do something to earn your place, then he’ll back off. Then you're one of the lads."

Liam nods. There’s something to that, really.

\--

The thought sits heavy at the front of his mind all weekend. He wracks his brain for a proportional prank response. Then, when he can’t come up with anything, he wracks his flatmate Zayn’s brain for a proportional prank response. Zayn doesn’t actually care enough to spend longer than ten minutes thinking about it, especially considering Liam’s been nattering on about it for days.

Zayn watches Liam talk about it over dinner, his chin leaned gently on his palm and his eyes sad. Liam’s glad he understands the gravity of the situation.

“All because of the bloody Tall Person’s Microwave mishap, like, I don’t know how to apologize about it. Like then I’d have to admit that I called him… you know, not tall,” Liam says. “Right?”

“Mmhm,” Zayn says, watching him closely.

Liam blinks down at him. “You all right, mate?”

Zayn nods slowly, his eyebrows rising. “You’ve been holding the spaghetti hostage for like… twenty minutes.”

“Ah,” Liam says, looking down at the bowl he’s been holding this whole time, tongs in one hand like he was ready to serve Zayn when he started talking and got distracted.

He has to reheat it because it’s gone cold and manages to keep a lid on his Louis Problem as they’re both seated and eating.

“It’s very good,” Zayn compliments.

“Thank you,” Liam says.

“I’m really not sure why you’re so hung up on him.”

Liam blanches. “I’m not hung up on him. I just…”

“You just spend your entire weekend thinking about him.”

“Thinking about _pranking_ him,” Liam says, like there’s a difference. Because there is. He’s sure of it.

"Maybe you should make him some apology spaghetti and be done with it," Zayn suggests casually.

Liam nods thoughtfully. It’s not a bad idea. But he thinks he can do Louis one better.

The next day he places himself at the table in the kitchen before Louis goes for his lunch. He keeps his lunchbox shut and pretends to study his phone very intently.

Louis waltzes into the kitchen and plucks open the fridge. He pulls Liam's container of lasagne and the little bag of grated asiago cheese from his brown paper sack and sets them on the counter. He pulls a fork from the box in the cabinet above the sink and gives the spaghetti a good stir before reaching up on his toes to pop the container in the Tall Person’s Microwave.

All of this he does without saying a word, his face betraying no hint of confusion or surprise. Liam watches him dumbly, waiting for Louis to make any sort of reaction, but he doesn't. He just goes along as though it was his lunch to begin with.

Louis leans against the counter and texts until the microwave dings. He shuffles back out of the kitchen, clutching his prizes -- a lunch Liam got up early specifically to make -- and tossing a "Have a good lunch, Liam" over his shoulder.

Liam barely swallows his outrage as he peeks into his lunchbox at the lunch Louis packed, the lunch he’s resigned to. Two and a half fish fingers and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps. That’s just... perfect.

He's not even sure what he expected Louis would do.

Well, that's not true. He had expected him and Louis to have a good chuckle about how Liam got him good, and then switch their lunches back.

But realistically? Liam should have expected this. He should have expected Louis would find a way to win. And that only makes Liam want to work harder.

\--

A few days later, he sees it in the window of the sport shop, but the idea doesn’t begin to hatch until he’s already walked past it. He backs up. The beginnings of a smile push at the corner of his lips and he knows what he has to do.

On Friday Liam gets to work so early there's no possible way Louis could be here pranking him. Louis never pranks two weeks in a row. He's unpredictable. It's what makes him dangerous.

He struggles putting the damn thing together, like the instructions are in no way useful. He rips a bit of the cardboard and it causes the thing to lean to the side but. Whatever. It's done. He situates it strategically in the corner behind Louis' desk, so everyone's eyes are drawn up behind Louis first when they walk in.

His prank takes all of five minutes to complete and then he's stuck at work an hour and a half early with nothing else but his spreadsheets to attend to.

He anxiously awaits the sound of Louis' voice to echo down the hallway.

"Good morning, Louis," Liam calls to him as Louis attempts to breeze past Liam's desk without saying anything.

Louis raises an eyebrow at him and carries on in silence. Liam waits for an indignant squawk or a burst of laughter or a furious rant that never comes. He tries to play it cool, but he's genuinely very interested to see Louis' reaction.

Hours pass and Louis doesn't say anything and Liam starts to wonder if someone has nicked the thing before Louis could even see it.

He sneaks up out of his chair just before lunchtime and peeks around the corner through a window to the little area where Louis and the one other person in marketing sit. It's still there, the life size cardboard cutout of David Beckham with his England kit on (it had been quite a struggle to find one of him without an offensive team's kit -- Louis loses it if you so much as breathe in the general direction of Los Angeles), looking sweaty and game-fresh and, Liam admits, quite dashing.

Becks hasn't moved and Louis doesn't even seem to acknowledge he's even there. And it drives Liam absolutely mental.

Louis doesn't say anything the next day either and it's not like Liam can go up and ask him about it. It's too suspicious and Louis will figure out it was him instantly. The only thing Liam has going for him, really, is Louis thinks Liam is too boring to do anything like a prank.

He has to confess, though. Somebody has to know. Liam's shit at keeping secrets. Also he wants some level of credit, since he can't claim ownership. Someone has to share a laugh with him.

Liam corners Niall in the kitchen during lunch on Tuesday and the look on his face must be so serious that it prompts Niall to ask him what's wrong.

“I put that cut out of David Beckham at Louis’ desk,” Liam says. “It’s been there for two days and he hasn’t said anything. He hasn’t taken it down or even acknowledged it, like. Surely he’s seen it, I mean, it’s _right there_.”

“Why’d you do that?” Niall asks.

“It’s a prank!”

Niall’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “That’s it? That’s your prank?”

“Well, yeah. I didn’t want to do anything mean, I mean, he likes Becks, but like. I thought it would be funny?”

Niall just stares at him, blinking slowly. He shakes his head at Liam, his lips pursed with disdain, and then he walks away.

“Niall?” Liam calls after him, but he gets no response. He makes an executive decision not to let Niall know about the switched lunch fiasco.

\--

It's Tuesday before he thinks of another good one. After a day full of furtive instant messages sent back and forth, wherein Liam refuses to relay any part of his master plan where Louis could find it, he finally manages to get Niall to come in early Wednesday morning.

"This better be fucking good," Niall grumbles, looking half asleep and generally quite unhappy with Liam.  

"It will be," Liam promises. "Can you program Louis' computer so, like, every time he goes to Google, it instead goes to something different?"

Niall grows a slow smile, his eyes lighting up at the opportunity, and that’s when Liam knows he’s got him. "Yeah, it's gonna take some work, but I’ve actually already written a program that will overwrite his command and cause his browser to redirect--" Niall starts but Liam waves him off.

"I trust you."

"What do you want it to point to?" Niall asks, sliding into Louis' chair and booting up his computer. "I've got some choice pornsites -- nothing with viruses, mind."

"Christ, Niall, I don't want to get him _fired_ ," Liam squawks.

"I could find him some blokes," Niall says. "No judgment and all."

" _No porn_ ," Liam insists and then pauses, his heart thumping a little at the news. He almost wants to double check with Niall, but he doesn't. It's immaterial. Liam's not trying to date him, he's only trying to prank him. Truly. "Just. Put it to Catsgifs.co.uk or something."

Niall turns in his chair and levels Liam with a stare. "Cat gifs?"

"It's a funny site," Liam insists. "Haven't you been on it?"

"No, Liam, I can't say that I have." Niall shakes his head with disdain.

Liam huffs back at him, clearly not in the mood to have his judgment questioned. The best pranks are funny but harmless, anything beyond that risks becoming mean. Louis' pranks are never mean. "Can you not do it?"

"Of course I can do it," he grumbles, turning back to the computer and clicking the mouse far more violently than is really necessary. "Fuckin' insulting."

Niall does it. Liam brews him a pot of coffee especially and promises to take him to lunch in payment. Niall negotiates up to three lunches by the time he's done. He's about to press the final button when he turns to Liam.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asks.

"It's a harmless prank," Liam answers.

Niall makes a face. "Not what I was worried about."

"It'll be great, Niall. I promise."

It's not great. Louis spends the entire day messaging cat gifs on the company chat group without explanation and his productivity drops through the floor. As does the productivity of 23% of the office who spend their day cooing back at him.

Liam almost takes it like a personal affront, how Louis is using _Liam’s prank_ to single-handedly derail a quarter of their business. But he's dug his own grave, really. He’s accidentally pranked himself.

And what's worse is Louis says _nothing_. Not even a congratulation on a prank well done or even a hint of why he has reason to be cat gif-obsessed. It's blown right up in Liam's face, sure, but he doesn't get the satisfaction of everyone knowing it was his doing.

The end of this particularly long and grueling day doesn't come soon enough. Liam works later than anyone trying to clean up his own mess of low company productivity; he’s not seen the sun for hours.

He’s tired to the bone, can barely gather enough willpower to pull himself up from his desk, but he does. He loosens his tie and stretches long and hard. He blinks a few times, adjusting his eyes to the dark world outside his computer screen.

Liam thinks he must be the last to leave, so he flips off the lights as he walks through the office. He passes by Louis' corner, a little hidden behind the wall, and sees Louis is still there, concentrating intently at his computer, looking like he has no intentions of leaving anytime soon.

Maybe Liam has to revise his productivity spreadsheet after all. He feels a small surge of appreciation that he doesn’t know how to unpack in his head. He tries not to think about it too long.

Because now he knows, most importantly, he has to up his game. Do something to make Louis sit up and take notice. Challenge accepted, he thinks to himself as he leaves the office.

\--

He spends the following weekend working on his next prank and he's sure this one's a real winner. Louis is bound to say something and Liam is going to laugh long and hard and parade both Louis and the framed picture of his beloved Donny Rovers -- signed, of course -- around the office until everybody else has shared their laugh.

And sure enough Liam’s in the copy room first thing Monday morning, in the midst of a battle with a paper jam, when Louis finds him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Liam?” he shouts, his eyes so sharp Liam’s certain they might cut through him.

Liam blinks up at him, startled. “What?”

“This isn’t a prank,” Louis says, waving the framed picture Liam had left propped up on Louis’ desk in his face. “A prank is like putting something underneath the refrigerator to make it taller so I can’t reach the Tall Person’s Microwave. Or taking out all the paperwork from my desk and replacing it with printed sheets of Beyonce lyrics.”

Those are just… extraordinarily _specific_ pranks, and Liam can’t help but wonder if they were meant for him.

“But this, Liam,” he continues, “is not a bloody prank.”

“Yes, it is -- I mean -- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Liam tries to say innocently, but honestly he’s a little too scared by how severe Louis looks in this moment. He rises to meet him, dusting the toner from his hands and doing a poor job of it.

“Come off it, Liam,” Louis says, his hand flapping. “I’ve known it was you from the start. The lunch, Becks, cat gifs, all of it.”

“Oh,” Liam says, his face falling. “How?”

Louis just stares at him, utterly unimpressed.

“Okay, fine,” Liam allows, “but why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was retaliating. Nothing’s worse than the prankee not acknowledging the prank,” Louis snaps like it’s obvious. Liam supposes it might be. He has been in agony these past few weeks.

“But this is too much,” Louis adds, shaking the picture at him. “You’ve gone too far. You’ll have to take it back.”

“And do what with it?”

“I don’t know. Give it back to them.”

“You want me... to mail it to the Doncaster Rovers?”

“Well, no,” Louis says, his face pinching with irritation.

“Do you not want it, then?”

“Of course I want it!” Louis bellows.

Liam hesitates. “I’m not actually sure what the problem is.”

“You can’t just give people presents and call them pranks. You can’t do nice things, that’s not, like -- the idea of a prank is to -- Liam. I just.” Louis takes a deep breath and purses his lips as he appears to think for a moment about what he wants to say. “I’ve been a real shit to you and this is how you get me back. With kindness. That’s actually the best prank I’ve ever seen.”

“But you haven’t been a shit to me? I thought. I thought that’s how you just made friends?” Liam frowns. Everyone else in the office had said it made Liam part of their family. It was what the two of them were known for. And he had finally gotten Louis’ attention. He wouldn’t actually trade it for anything. “Honestly, I’ve quite enjoyed it. I thought we had A Thing, you know?”

“We do, it’s Our Thing,” Louis says, his tone dropping instantly into something reassuring. Liam’s not entirely sure whether he’s actually in trouble because as soon as he’s comforted Louis isn’t actually mad at him, Louis resumes his scowl. “I can’t believe that you’re _better at it than I am_.”

He storms out of the room, frame still clutched firmly in his hands. Liam’s still a bit confused.

Then Louis storms back in and grabs Liam in a hug and holds it longer than Liam thinks he's going to. He's got his face buried in Liam's shoulder and Liam can feel where Louis fingers lightly rest on his back. Liam snaps out of his surprise to attempt to reciprocate, to finally get his hands on Louis like he's been trying to do for months, but Louis pulls back, mumbling a quick _thank you_ before storming out a second time.

Liam stands in a daze for a few moments before a smug smile grows on his face and turns into a pleased chuckle.

He’s finally gotten Louis back. It feels pretty good, if he’s going to be perfectly honest.

By the time Liam finishes his copy machine ministrations and settles back at his desk, there’s an email waiting for him titled _SUPER SECRET MISSION TELL NO ONE !!_ from Louis. He opens it hastily.

 _I have the best idea to prank our dear Harold. Your mission, should you choose to accept it..._ it begins and Liam grins. He’s in.

\--

"So you've successfully wooed him then?" Zayn asks when Liam's done telling him the story. He at least remembered to serve the two of them before starting his story this time.

"What do you mean, wooed?"

"Is that not what you were doing? Giving him presents to woo him?" Zayn says. "S'a bit antiquated, but if it worked for you..." Zayn shrugs.

"They weren't presents, they were pranks," Liam says, scrunching his face because Harry had said the same thing a few hours ago.

He points his forkful of spaghetti at Liam purposefully. "No, Liam. They really weren't."

Liam frowns into his own spaghetti and thinks hard about it.

So maybe he cooked Louis lunch.

And got him a cutout of his favorite footballer that remains in a place of honor at his desk.

And provided him with hours of entertainment in the form of cat gifs.

And bid on an insanely priced signed photograph for a charity auction.

"Shit," Liam says. "I think I might have been wooing him."

\--

He explains the entirety of the prank for Harry to Liam in the morning, having come in early just so he doesn't risk Harry overhearing. And then, when he finishes, Louis does the impossible.

"Should we do it?" Louis asks.

Liam is startled but he tries to hide it. He never imagined Louis would ask him permission; he just assumed they'd do it because Louis says so. It makes him feel valued, that Louis, the King of Pranks, needs Liam's sign off.

"Yeah, sounds brilliant," Liam says because it is.

Louis crinkles a wide smile at Liam and reaches out to squeeze his shoulder before he departs, promising to arrange everything. All Liam has to do is put up for half of the costume rental.

Once the Floodgates of Wooing open in Liam's mind, there's no stopping him from spending his entire day thinking about whether or not he's wooed Louis.

Because the thing is he wouldn't particularly mind. He likes Louis. He, admittedly, spends quite a lot of time thinking about Louis. Pranking Louis. Obviously. But now that they've become Partners in Prank, he only thinks about spending time with Louis. And he tries not to hear Niall talking about him liking blokes bouncing around in his head.

Hours later after everyone else has gone home, Liam shuts his computer down for the day and pokes his head around the corner to raise his eyebrows at Louis, who's still there on the phone.

Louis winks at him and Liam tugs at his ear because they've learned very quickly that Liam can't wink properly. Louis must be actively engaged in Prank Preparation.

Liam jumps onto the empty desk next to him and swings his feet as he waits. Louis confirms a few more details before hanging up.

"We're all set," Louis says, rising and crossing Liam to walk into the kitchen. Liam follows him loyally and watches Louis pull a brown paper bag full of food out of the fridge. “Fifteen pounds and we’ll have to buy him lunch.”

“I think I can swing that,” Liam answers.

Louis unceremoniously dumps the contents of his paper bag onto the counter. It looks like dinner. Liam watches him lift up a little on his toes to reach the Tall Person's Microwave. He really isn't all that taller than Louis, but it's those two inches that seem to do it.

"You all right there?"

“I'm brilliant,” Louis says, trying for nonchalant but failing. He gets enough traction to slap the door shut, but entering the time seems to cause a bit of a problem.

"Yeah? How tall are you?" Liam asks. "Just out of curiosity. I'm thinking of instituting a You Must Be This Tall to Microwave sign."

Louis turns on Liam with a surprised -- and, if Liam is so bold, proud -- look on his face. Liam beams back. _That's right,_ his smile says. _I've got jokes_.

"Cheeky," Louis answers and settles on hitting one of the preset time cook buttons instead.

"Are you not done here?" Liam asks.

"Miles to go before I sleep, Payno," Louis says, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. “Big project. I’m very important.”

"Do you, do you, like, want some company?"

“Oh, um.” Louis raises his eyebrows and shrugs. He looks hesitant in a way Liam's never seen him before. “If you like.”

“I like,” Liam says instantly. “I mean. I’d like to. Yes. I’ll stay.”

Louis barks a laugh. "Okay.”

Liam settles into Louis’ office-mate’s chair and scoots it over to sit closer to watch Louis work. He’s quite pleased to see the framed picture of the Rovers takes up prime real estate next to his monitor.

"I'm not entirely sure what you do, other than write emails," Liam admits.

"First of all, how dare you," Louis snaps. " _Just send emails_. I am the glue that holds this place together."

Liam chuckles. That's fair. He's charming, he's won over everyone in the office, and when he talks, people listen. It's almost inspiring. Not that Liam would ever tell him. He’d just crow about it for weeks and insist someone update his business cards to read _Louis Tomlinson, Marketing Coordinator, an Inspiration to Us All._

"Would you have any productivity to analyze if I wasn't bringing in business with my _emails_?" Louis asks and Liam thinks it's rhetorical until Louis keeps staring him down, waiting for a response.

"No, I wouldn't."

Louis nods, satisfied. “Besides, emails are incredibly important. Take this email of yours, for instance. Watch me carefully." He pulls up Liam's last email to the office and sets about changing almost every inch of it deftly, adding commas and shifting the order and the like.

“Why’ve you changed that one bit?” Liam asks, pointing at a couple of lines he’s deleted about half of.

“Strong verbs and succinct sentences portray confidence. Strength. You’re an authority. You’ve spent two whole sentences here just apologizing for even writing this email. You don’t have to justify your existence. Remove the clutter, get to the point. Does that make sense?”

“Yep,” Liam says with a firm nod. Sounds great. Authority. Liam could get behind that. He knows he has a bit of trouble with that and all because he’s just so new and he doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes as he gently tells them all exactly what they’re doing wrong and how they need to fix it. The eco-system.

“Confidence, Liam. Have you got it?”

“Sure,” Liam says with a shrug.

"Liam," he censures.

"No, right, yes. I've got confidence. Confidence for days, in fact."

"Good. That's what your pranks lack, though. Confidence. We'll work on that."

Liam nods. He likes that Louis has plans for him, that he has plans to work with Liam in the future -- repeatedly, ideally.

Within a minute, Louis gets sucked back into his computer with a laser-like focus Liam recognizes in himself. He tends to get buried into his work and forget the rest of the world exists. It seems like Louis does this too, but he's able to make it look effortless to the rest of the world. Liam can't imagine how many hours he's spent on Prank Preparation behind the scenes so his execution looks simple and runs flawless.

He pulls away from his computer every once in a while, to either show Liam something he's doing or to ask him something completely random about himself -- his sandwich preferences, his childhood pets, his favorite superhero. It's nice, mixing business with personal, and it seems as though even when Liam thinks Louis has forgotten all about him, Louis proves him wrong.

"You're really good at your job," Liam says after they've gathered their things and started walking out.

"Yes, I am. Plug that into your spreadsheet."

"I will."

They ride the lift in companionable silence, standing far closer to each other than the space really warrants. Without thinking about it, Liam walks Louis all the way to his bus stop.

"This is me," Louis says, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Of course," Liam says, flushing surely, but hopefully the fact that the sun's down is hiding it. He slowly backs away toward his own bus stop two streets over. "Good night. See you tomorrow. For prank time. Also see you for work. In addition to the prank."

Louis winks at him and Liam tugs his ear.

\--

Louis scoots himself halfway across the office in his rolling chair -- shouting _excuse me_ and _move it or lose it_ , it seems, at anyone who stands in his way -- just so he can sit next to Liam in his own little isolated Productivity Corner. He taps in the web address on Liam’s browser to access the live feed to the security cameras at the front door of the office.

Liam has had second thoughts about it all morning, especially now as he watches an unsuspecting Harry text away at his phone at the reception desk at the front of the office. Louis makes a rather impressively long groan of impatience at him. It’s just… it’s the _eco-system_ and Harry likes him and it’s one thing to prank Louis (admittedly very poorly) and quite another to turn on the first person who was kind to him.

"Harry just lets people in, like. There's a reason for the camera. It's for our safety, Liam." Louis claps him on the shoulder. "Think of our safety."

"Our safety," Liam repeats.

"Moreover," Louis says, adjusting his tie seriously. "Not only are we having a laugh, we're teaching Harry a valuable lesson."

Liam pats at his own tie and leaves it at that.

“Game time,” Louis says as soon as the bloke Louis’ hired can be seen on the cameras outside their office doors.

It’s the moment of truth. Harry could, for once in his life, check the security cameras before buzzing someone in and ruin the whole thing. There’s a lot riding on Harry being utterly predictable, not enough for Liam to fully plan on a success, but there’s something about Louis’ absolute confidence that keeps Liam going.

“Should we film it?” Liam asks, his voice falling into a hushed whisper, even though there’s no one around to hear them and give the game away, certainly not Harry.

“Nah, the best pranks live on in infamy, passed on through generations by the oral traditions,” Louis says wisely, flapping his hand dramatically. “We mustn't sully it with photographic proof, must we?”

“No,” Liam answers. “I suppose we mustn’t.”

The bloke presses the doorbell and Harry, true to form, slaps at the buzzer and lets him in without even looking up from his phone. The bloke in the gorilla suit sidles up to the reception desk, leaning over and patiently waiting for some attention to be paid to him.

Harry does a double take up at the massive gorilla in front of him. His face falls in shock and it looks like he shouts, "Oh fuck me," as he nearly falls out of his chair. What Liam wouldn't give for a camera with sound.

Louis collapses into laughter, leaning his head onto Liam’s shoulder and clutching his arm desperately. Liam looks back and forth between the monitor and Louis’ smile because they’re both too good to miss.

"Louis Tomlinson!" they can hear Harry roar from the opposite end of the office.

Louis snorts and quickly closes the browser window, regretfully removing himself from Liam’s side. He turns his bright eyes to Liam, who can't stop huffing with laughter. Louis looks pleased with Liam and holds his fist up for Liam to bump it. Liam feels elated, it’s better than he could have imagined. They fucking _did it_ and they did it together.

"That was so sick. Excellent work, partner," Louis compliments.

Liam flushes, equally pleased. He'll be damned if he hasn’t been wooed as well.

\--

"We should go out to dinner to celebrate," Liam says the next day, having cornered him in the kitchen as he makes a cuppa.

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Celebrate what?"

"A prank well done."

"Was the fist bump not enough?"

Liam pauses, gathering up his courage deep within him so he can finally blurt out what he’s been dying to say all week. "I'd like to take you out to dinner."

Louis stares at him for a few beats before he breaks into hearty chuckles, clapping Liam on the shoulder. "That's very funny, Liam. Nicely done."

"I wasn't," Liam starts, but Louis' already walked away.

Liam stands, baffled. Louis thought it was… a prank? It’s not a very nice one, pretending to ask someone on a date. Liam would never do that, and, honestly, it stings a bit that Louis would think of Liam that way.

He resolves to follow up with Louis, set him straight and all, but every time he’s passed by Louis’ desk, he’s talking on the phone, and any time he’s passed Louis in the halls, he’s engaged in deep conversation with someone else.

He only hopes that Louis doesn’t cut out early today. Liam positions his chair so he can watch his coworkers pass by one by one on their way home. Once he sees Louis’ marketing buddy leave, Liam gathers his things and heads for Louis’ office.

“Hi hi,” Liam says, knocking on the wall for good measure, and waits for Louis to peer up at him before he cracks a smile.

“Hey,” is all Louis says, but it’s soft and familiar and Liam’s resolve almost melts right out of him.

“I just wanted to, um, let you know that I was still very interested in grabbing dinner with you. The offer is still... there.” He makes a vague gesture, hoping it encompasses wherever _there_ is.

“Yeah, you got me, Payno,” Louis says, smiling but it doesn’t reach his eyes. It’s not genuine, that’s not what Louis looks like when he smiles at Liam. “It’s not as funny the second time around, though, keep that in mind.”

“I’m not pranking you. I’m asking you on a date,” Liam says firmly until the thought hits him. “Unless, of course, you don’t want to go on a date, in which case, yes, this was a prank, and as you know, I’m quite horrendous at them, silly me. I suppose I’ve learned a very important lesson.”

“Have you quite finished?” Louis interrupts.

“No, I’ve got one thing left to say.” He waits for effect, and Louis waits, his eyebrows quirked up. “I would just like to say that if we went on a date, it would be quite good.”

Louis leans back in his chair and appears to survey Liam. Liam stands firm. “Quite good, eh?”

“Yes.”

Louis tosses his hands up like he’s defeated. “I don’t know how I can say no to such confidence.”

“Good, I’ll meet you right here at seven tomorrow,” Liam says, turning on his heel and leaving before Louis gets the chance to respond. He isn’t actually _that_ cool, though, and he does want verbal confirmation before he calls his plan successful.

Liam backtracks quickly to poke his head around the corner and say, “So that’s, like, a hard yes from you, right?”

“Yes, Liam,” Louis answers, not even bothering to look up from his computer. “Please go away now.”

\--

Liam spends the entire day anxiously awaiting the night, so anxious that he brings a spare shirt to work just in case he sweats through the first one. Louis’ cornered him on three separate occasions to attempt to wheedle information out of Liam, but he won’t be persuaded to spill.

Louis’ merciless, though, because Harry shows up right around four, leaning casually against Liam’s desk for no reason at all.

“Heyyyyy,” he says, picking absently at the little part of the wood veneer on Liam’s desk that’s peeling off. “You doing anything fun tonight?”

“Oh yeah, tonight’s gonna be mental,” Liam says. “And I’m not telling you a single thing about it.”

Harry pretends to look taken aback, a hand clutching at his chest. “That’s just rude, Liam, I come all the way over here because I care about you and I want to know what’s going on in your life.”

“You can tell Louis to mind his own, thank you.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Harry says and walks away, turning the corner to obviously report his findings to Louis.

To Louis' credit, he makes no further attempts to solicit information from Liam, even as he follows Liam out of the building and down the street to the place where Louis likes to get a takeaway curry every other Thursday.

He's preordered and the guy behind the counter recognizes both of them, handing over the bag of food waiting for them. Liam keeps checking back in with Louis, throwing casual glances to see if Louis' face has shifted into confusion or anything like that. But Louis looks frustratingly up for anything, calm and collected.

Louis manages to keep a lid on it until they've walked a few blocks down the street.

"Takeaway, huh?" Louis asks, trying to keep his cool, but Liam suddenly sees right through him. He's almost relishing in how Louis is so poorly handling lack of control. It's a nice enough role reversal, but Liam's not sure it'll stick much longer.

"We'll be dining elsewhere." Liam is a master of suspense. His confidence grows. And... well, it's not much of a surprise, admittedly. But he hopes Louis will be pleased.

Louis hums in consideration. “Good work on that memo today, by the way."

“Really?”

“There was little to no apologizing.”

“I appreciate that. We’re almost there,” Liam promises, as they retrace the final blocks back to the office.

Louis blinks up at the building once Liam stops in front of it. “Explain.”

“You and I are going to prank the office. All of them. Tonight. Whatever you want with my help. Within reason, I mean.”

Louis nods slowly, and Liam can see the wheels turning in his head. His smile grows slowly until his pointy teeth make an appearance and he looks proper mischievous. “How are we going to get back in?”

“I requested an after hours key card from security.” Liam produces and waves it in his face.

“For a prank?”

“For a prank.”

“And not for work?”

“Definitely not for work.”

Louis sniffles and hiccups, pretending to be overwhelmed, patting at his dry eyes. “I’m just… so proud of you.”

"I would have taken you to an actual dinner but we do have to vacate the premises by nine."

"Actual dinner, nonsense," Louis says, plucking the after hours key card and holding the door open for Liam.

“Just try not to anything too outrageous,” Liam says as he spreads their meal over the meeting table by Harry’s desk at the front of the office.

“Nothing that can’t be undone, nothing that causes harm, nothing illegal,” Louis says, his mouth already full of rice. “I’ve got a code, Liam, and I’m quite serious about it.”

They spend a few minutes chatting idly and eating, trading a few stories about Simon’s neuroses and how he actually cornered Liam to tell him he liked how Liam was taking initiative to wear a tie on Wednesdays.

Louis pops on each computer’s monitor to click around on it for about half a minute before he deems his work done and switches the monitors back off.

After Louis vacates a chair, Liam plops down in it, pulling the lever until the chairs drop as low as they can go. He skips Sam’s chair because he has a bad back and Alice’s chair because she’s had foot surgery, but for the rest of them, there’s a pretty high likelihood they’ll feel at the very least that sensation you get when you go to sit down on something that’s lower than you expect.

Liam squints at the computer Louis’ sat at. "Is this Greek?"

"They didn't have Sanskrit." Louis clicks a couple of times. “Oh, hold on, yes, they do.” He looks back out across the computers he’s already changed and Liam knows he’s considering taking the time to switch all of them to Sanskrit. He seems to think better of it.

“How are they supposed to switch it back to English?”

“Niall will switch it back. Penance for having turned on me to help you prank me.”

“Yeah, but you loved those cat gifs.”

“I refuse to dignify that with a response.”

Next Louis steals all of the pens from every desk in the office. “We’re an online company, Liam,” he explains seriously. “We built websites. Paper and pen have no business at our business.”

Liam runs into the kitchen to grab the box of plastic bags from the cabinet next to the Tall Person’s Microwave so he can keep them safe. He carefully writes their names on each of the bags in Sharpie so he’ll know who they belong to tomorrow when he returns all of them to their desks after hours.

They work well together, like a seamless team, a paragon of productivity, like Louis sets up the play and Liam comes in with the assist. It’s a privilege to watch a master at work.

Liam hides the mountain of pens in the bottom drawer of his desk, hoping no one will become the wiser. He’s prepared to sacrifice himself should he get caught, but at this point, there’s no one in the office who’ll believe Liam acted alone. Nonetheless. He’ll go down defending his boy.

“Smile,” Louis says suddenly, phone in his hand, and snaps a picture of Liam before he can do much more than frown confused at the lens. “Perfect,” Louis says and scuttles over to his desk.

Liam watches him do a bit of fancy manipulation with the picture and the next thing he knows, Louis’ pressing print. Page after page prints out, tiny black and white Liams greeting him at three to fifteen per page, some of the faces quite large and the others almost so small you couldn’t even tell it was him.

“Grab a pair of scissors and get cutting,” Louis says. “Just around the face.”

“What are we doing?”

“Patience, Payno.”

“They’re going to know it was me, then,” Liam says, even as he starts cutting out far too many tiny pictures of his face for whatever mass distribution Louis has planned. It never occurs to him to object to this kind of thing.

“Yeah, but they’ll love it. Everyone should be so lucky they get to see your face. Especially now that it’ll be everywhere.”

“Yeah?” Liam says, feeling his cheeks pink up at the compliment.

“Yeah, it’s a good face,” Louis says dismissively, bent over his own pile of pictures to cut out.

Liam sets down his scissors and pushes himself in his rolling chair over to Louis and sidles up alongside him. He props his chin upon his palms and smiles over at Louis. “Replay.”

Louis narrows his eyes at Liam, but complies nonetheless. “Yeah, it’s a good face.”

“Replay.”

“Don’t push your fucking luck,” Louis snaps playfully, shoving his hand in Liam’s face and pushing him away. “Get to cutting or we’ll be here all night.”

Liam doesn’t tell him that he wouldn’t mind staying all night if Louis was going to stay with him.

They stick them everywhere, medium-sized Liams underneath all of the coffee cups, tiny Liams taped to phone handsets, big Liams taped behind office doors only to be seen when shut. Louis even manages to find a few hidden spaces where it’ll likely be months before anybody realizes there’s a Liam hidden there too.

When the tasks are done, they reconvene up at Harry’s desk. Louis loops his arm around Liam’s shoulder and surveys the office one last time. He nods a little to himself, seemingly satisfied, and says, “Nicely done.”

He turns to look over at Liam just as Liam turns to look at him, and then Liam just spur of the moment does it. He doesn’t put hours of careful planning into it, he doesn’t worry about it going well or blowing up in his face. He does worry a little about how Louis is going to take it, but it doesn’t worry him enough to stop him from placing a quick kiss to Louis’ lips.

Louis reacts quickly, getting his hands around Liam’s neck just as he’s about to pull away and reels him back in, pushing against him enthusiastically until Liam’s backed all the way up to Harry’s desk. His back hits the desk and he lets out a muffled little _oof_ that goes basically unnoticed by Louis because he’s too busy attacking Liam’s bottom lip.

Liam’s phone chirps at him. Five to nine, then. Liam pulls back but Louis clutches harder.

“No,” he says quietly. It makes Liam’s heart thump a little harder.

“We have to go,” Liam says, matching his hushed tone, even though it’s ridiculous because they’re in an empty office.

Louis makes a pouting noise, but answers, “Fine. Wouldn’t want you to turn into a rule-following pumpkin at midnight.”

“I can break the rules. You’ve opened a whole new world to me. There’s no telling what I’ll do next. I might print something in color. Wear a tie on Tuesday.”

“Created a monster, I have,” he says with his best mischievous smirk.

Liam nods and they watch each other for a while. He’s honestly quite pleased with how the evening’s gone. He might even rank it above _quite good_ , and he thinks Louis might too.

“We have to go,” Liam says again because they still haven’t moved. He reluctantly breaks away to dispose of their trash and comes back to find Louis engrossed in Harry’s computer. “What’s this?”

“I’m changing Harry’s email signature to say Barry. How long do you think until he notices?”

Liam gives it some thought. “At least four days.”

“That’s acceptable.”

“They’re going to lose it,” Liam says as they wait for the lift to arrive.

“It’s going to be sick.” Louis nudges into him and Liam takes it as his cue to wrap an arm around Louis. “This is our magnum opus.”

“True. I don’t know how we’re going to top this.”

“Oh, just wait until you see what I did to your desk,” Louis says casually as the lift dings and the doors open. He steps inside, but Liam remains unmoved.

Liam blinks at him. “My desk?” Was there ever a time they were separated? Liam looks down at his now useless after hours key card before looking back up to Louis’ smug grin. “What have you done?”

Louis looks too pleased with himself and it’s clear he’s not going to say. Liam reaches a point where he’s too curious to be apprehensive. He’s too excited to be part of the plan, Louis’ Partner in Prank. Even if it means he still has to be pranked on occasion as well.

It’s Their Thing.

\----

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This kind of turned out to be the perfect day to post this, didn't it?
> 
> I'm sorry, catgifs.co.uk doesn't actually exist. But if it did, I think it would be delightful.
> 
> I'm [here](http://wickershire.tumblr.com/post/118555841753/title-why-dont-we-break-the-rules-already) if you need me.


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